so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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