After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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