At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
