Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
