All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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