I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
