he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
