so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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