is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
And then he peed in my hair
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