There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
