why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
