I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
should my penis look like a turkey
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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