My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
