If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
