someone threw a dead crab at me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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