Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
