So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
