Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
