the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
