I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
