his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
