He told me they were just razor bumps!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
