Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
