I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
