She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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