Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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