they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
