im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
