Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
