The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
