we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Your cock deserves a montage
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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