no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
