I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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