I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
