the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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