He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
