Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
