Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
