You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
one might say we're banned from that church
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
