Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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