God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
