I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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