I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
