im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
