I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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