i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
