Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
