is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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