I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize