is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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