He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
