after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
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